Thursday, March 8, 2012

IWD Misogynist

Happy International Women’s Day!

In celebration of IWD the Utah legislature has forwarded “with little debate” a woman-specific measure expected to pass with a plurality of votes. This measure extends the waiting time before a woman can have an abortion from one to three days. What will you women do with your extra free time? Perhaps you can go to the mall and buy some sexy new shoes?

I must admit that I was originally against this bill, but I recently read an Op-Ed in my local paper which has set it all straight for me. This Op-Ed was written by a woman so it must be indicative of what women really think; at least I assume she is a woman based on her name “Jewel”, the attractive head in the picture accompanying the article, and that she states having given birth to at least three children. It is always good to get a woman’s perspective on things. I often simply assume they think like everyone else.

Jewel explains the benefit of the new law:

She used to have a day to decide. Now, if the bill passes, she would have three days.” -- Jewel Punzalan Allen from her Tooele Transcript-Bulletin Op-Ed Tuesday 6 March 2012.


Jewel used her own experience to illustrate her point. She describes her inability to be sure about decisions, including carrying her own children to term; although she is quick to point out that she: “never had, nor have I considered getting, an abortion.” Despite this her genetically-derived insight as a woman allows her to have considered opinions about other women’s abortions that she wants you to consider as well. Women are rumored to have greater consideration for others, and I guess this proves it can be true.

Jewel describes the particulars of the romance that would eventually plant a seed in her properly-wed womb. At 19 she “knew” a young man for “almost a year” and then spent three months “painting Washington DC red” (and having been a wild 19-year-old in Washington DC I “know” what that means!) only to return to a marriage proposal. She accepted immediately, then said no, then said yes again, and then became a bride at 20. Even over the several-month-long engagement young Jewel vacillated so much that her fiancé worried she would become a runaway bride. And there you have it; according to a woman, many women, maybe not all women, are just too volatile in their decisions.

The news has been all abuz about how Rush Limbaugh called some young lady (who may or may not have a silent e on the end of her last name) a slut for lobbying for a women’s right’s concerning her own reproductive choices. Rush is probably a man, so why should the men making these decisions care what he says? What does Ann Coulter have to say, or did Rush finally eat her?

Jewel is the spokeswoman women need. If she looks good in a bikini she might even make it to television. Jewel understands the four types of women who have abortions, and she lists them:

  1.  “an otherwise good girl who’s carried away in the heat of the moment, despite her parents’ guidance. “ [slut]
  2.  “a woman who was raped” [probably a slut]
  3.  “a woman who got drunk and had casual sex and regretted it the next day” [drunken slut]
  4. “a woman who could die if she proceeds with a full-term pregnancy or delivery. “ [diseased]

Some of you might be thinking that there are a trainload of other reasons besides being a diseased slut that a woman might decide to have an abortion. Some might point out that being a diseased slut is just as popular a reason to carry a fetus to term. Some might even go so far as to suggest that it is a decision made by considering the factors in a woman’s life independent of what she might “be”.

Thanks to Jewel we know that women have difficulty with big decisions, and they need an authority (like a male doctor) to point out that adoption is an alternative in order to consider it. It is so great that Jewel, and women like her all over Utah, will be given that extra two days to consider their abortion.  Before this law goes into effect women only have as long as they want to make the decision…and who knows what women really want?

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