More precisely I can see harmonics to my current mood in so many aspects of my environment. I feel, and it alters my perception; Its self referential looping spirals through days, and the days trudge through time. I’ve not posted since May.
In May AYD won a trip to CERN for her ISEF science fair project. She built a robot in the basement that monitored the germination of seeds. She called it Germitron, and made it from old bicycle parts. I recommend against repurposing old bicycle wheels as they do not stay true.
It is interesting that she won the trip almost a year after the famous Tooele Jr High wardrobe malfunction. Perhaps I’ll post a couple pictures of her posing in front of ATLAS and CMS to contrast with the picture I took of her in the Jr High front office.
In June I first broke into a hidden e-mail account that my wife of 21.5 years was keeping. I did not actually go through the e-mails till August. Here are some tidbits:
"Remember our pledge to marry and have Anyen Rinpoche preside and remember White Tara and the Buddha watching over that pledge"
“Most of all Sweetheart, I am happy because I have you. That is the truth you are my Grail, my everlasting Life. I am hoping we can get together at my apartment this weekend to share our excitement at how things are shaping up for us.”
I knew what I was going to find in a general sort of way, but filling in the specifics was rather uncomfortable. I needed the specifics to address the denials my more mature and pointed questions produced. The affair had apparently been going on for years. I knew the fellow she was seeing; he was one of AOD’s Jr High School teachers. AOD is graduating from High school in a few months.
I’ve never been a fan of Jr High school, and my opinion is not improving.
The admission of guilt was delivered with several declarations from my now former wife; three of which I would like to list:
- That “the only reason” for the affair was that he, as a Buddhist, provided the spiritual support an atheist like me could not.
- That I was “the greatest lover she had ever had”.
- That it was impossible for her to reconcile the idea that there might not be an afterlife (or, more specifically, reincarnation) with her desire to know that loved ones who died are not simply lost.
I steadfastly insist that the lot of it is nonsense… except the “greatest lover” part.
Unfortunately that is the only part that can be reasonably questioned.