Thursday, May 17, 2012

Burqa

So yesterday I get one of “those” phone calls that parents dread. Admittedly it was rather low on the scale of parental dread. One might reasonably say it was close to the bottom of the dreaded scale, but it is on there. AYD had been escorted to the front office by the principal, and was cooling her heals there until a parent could come in and sort stuff out. Her life of crime had begun.

In most junior High Schools all the students are treated like criminals, but only some rise to the challenge. AYD graduates from junior high in two weeks, so she is making it in just under the wire.

Calling in the parents is one of the most significant punishments that can befall a junior high student, and it prefaces all of the more severe punitive actions. When your parents are called you are in trouble; you have done something quite wrong.

There are significant consequences to parents being called in. Tooele is an outer bedroom community for most folks; the average commute-to-work time is in excess of 30 minutes. This means that many parents are expected to take an hour off work, and the student is expected to sit for at least one class-period in the office.

The office has large windows so that the student is on display to their peers throughout the interminable wait time. The bell rings and hundreds of students rush past the offender-on-display; some linger long enough to make obscene gestures. There are some sociopaths that would revel in the attention, but in most adolescent minds this is cruel and unusual punishment.

What had AYD done to deserve this punishment? Was it some valiant gesture of defiance against a fascist dehumanizing system, or was their cruelty and torture involved? I found it hard to picture AYD engaged (or at least being caught) in either of these types of actions, but I was hoping for the first.

When I was in junior high school there was this one fellow who skipped classes for almost an entire semester because the material being taught was “worthless and patronizing”; to compound the insult he spent his class-skipping time seated in the hallway of the school reading books on esoteric sciences. He only returned to class when he was invited to continue reading in the junior high hallway throughout his repetition of 8th grade, which he would be doing if he did not attend class long enough to complete at least some graded material. The administration wanted students in classes as long as they were not a danger. Was AYD a danger to her fellow students?

After spinning up the possibilities in my mind I was not prepared for the actual nature of her offense. AYD was dressed inappropriately. I am not the best judge of “appropriate” dress for a 14-year-old girl. I try, but it is a skill I have no intention of using for very long. I tried to circumvent my need for it at all by suggesting that both AOD and AYD wear hospital scrubs till they graduate the 12th grade, but that was apparently “not happening”. I know that if I dressed myself from AYD's wardrobe it would be wildly inappropriate regardless of what I chose.  Now my lack of attention had forced AYD into a life of crime. It is always the parents’ fault.

Luckily I was working at home, so I took a camera and rushed over to the junior high school with some dungarees and a sack-like shirt for AYD to change into. This is a picture of her in the school's front office, and this is the apparently inappropriate outfit she was wearing.



I was shocked at my ineptitude. The outfit actually looked appropriate to me; especially given the fact that it was 86F ( 30C) and the AC in the junior high was not working well outside of the front office. How could I be so blind as to not see that AYD was dressed as a harlot, and presented a danger to all the boys in the school? I read Great Expectations once. Just because the school might champion some Dickensonian imagery does not mean they must bow to them all. What vile boy-crushing monster had AYD become, and why could I not see it?

I began to think : “luckily the school administration can look at AYD and see her as a provocative female”, but then I thought…no…that is extremely creepy. I tried to think: “luckily the school administration can look at AYD though the eyes of hormone addled teenage boys to see her as provocative”, but then I thought…no…that is weird-creepy.

So I began to imagine some teacher thinking inappropriate things about AYD, and she being punished for it. Imagine sitting in a class where you knew the teacher was literally looking through your clothing to see you as a provocateur? I began wondering if transferring her to a new class in the last two weeks of school would do more harm than good.

It turns out that the principal himself had personally identified her as inappropriately dressed. He had walked up to her during lunchtime and identified her crime where nobody else could. I can’t help but think that the principal’s action creates an unhealthy atmosphere in his school. What does it say to the teachers who had her in class earlier in the day, and not noticed her inappropriate dress? Will there be punitive actions taken against the teachers who could not look at my daughter with perversion in their eyes?

Is AYD safe?

198 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, what did they find inappropriate about her outfit?

adult onset atheist said...

The hem of her skirt was ½ an inch ( a tad over a cm) to high. It is interesting that the school yearbook came out the same day as her incident. The yearbook had many photos of students with much higher hems on their skirts or pants. The yearbook photos raise the issue of selective enforcement.

Anonymous said...

And I thought the Catholic school where my daughter goes was uptight.

Anonymous said...

She looks lovely -- stylish, fashionable outfit that is age-appropriate and completely devoid of all sleaze factor. School principal is a creep.

Anonymous said...

It would take a pretty intense case of pedophilia to look at a girl dressed like that and get aroused. Keep an eye on that principal, methinks he doth protest too much.

Erin said...

Your daughter looks lovely. Can you please update this story with exactly what was said to you regarding her outfit? Your readers are only getting half the story here.

Anonymous said...

this is why uniforms are better than dress-codes. dress codes are a) too subjective & b) selectively enforced. i'd bet money that some other girl @ school that day was wearing a belly shirt w/ her thong showing over the top of her jeans.

Anonymous said...

You're on Jezebel!

http://jezebel.com/5911507/check-out-the-horrifically-inappropriate-outfit-that-got-a-14+year+old-sent-to-the-principals-office

Megan G said...

Hi. Jezebel sent me. Your daughter's outfit is cute and perfectly appropriate for school. Principal probably had a bug up his butt and wanted to take it out on someone that day.

Mel said...

This doesn't surprise me at all. I grew up in Pocatello, ID (not that far from Tooele) and was kicked out of plenty of places for skirts that didn't touch my kneecaps. [cough cough effing mormons cough]

sarafenix.me said...

In 1964 I was sent home from school because when I was on my knees my skirt didn't touch the floor. About the same amount as your daughter's skirt. Let's see, that was almost 50 years ago. Needless to say, we apparently haven't "come a long way, baby!"

Anonymous said...

Soo...someone actually measured? Putting their line-of-sight where? Which, in itself, is weird-creepy.

Anonymous said...

Soo...someone actually measured? Putting their line-of-sight where? Which, in itself, is weird-creepy. She looks fine to me.

redheadartgirl said...

I'd suggest putting her in a flour sack, but I'm sure the hem would be too high on that as well.

Anonymous said...

I would threaten a lawsuit, and require that they pay to give her tutoring for the time that she missed. Use the yearbook as your burden of proof, and scare the piss out of the principal so that this inherent jackass won't do this to another student. It's obviously harassment and could be brought up in a court of law as such. While I don't expect you to pursue this fully, it would probably benefit the rest of the student body as well as your daughter.

Madison said...

Is your daughter very intelligent? Teachers and principals, not at every school but certainly at many, tend to want to nab the smart people who otherwise do nothing wrong so they stick them with these ridiculous charges. The kids they feel threatened by... I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter, or maybe you yourself(?), intimidated this principal and he decided to shame your daughter before he didn't have a chance to shame her anymore.

I'm a 22 year old female and I wish more teenage girls knew how to dress themselves appropriately. Your daughter is dressed in a lovely and appropriate outfit.

(Jezebel sent me too)

Eschelle said...

jesus.. 1/2 inch... I have seen girls in skirts that are ONLY a 1/2 long it seems!! As long as they don't look like prostitutes you should be fine and your daughter looks ready for church or something!

Meredith said...

As a teacher... WHAT?! Your daughter should be awarded a medal for being able to dress herself both fashionably and appropriately, a talent that evades most junior high students. Glad your daughter will be rid of that school soon. Best of luck to her in high school :)

alaja moon said...

Was this at a public school? Good grief, even at the born-again Baptist school I attended in the stone ages, this would have been considered an appropriate length for our hideous uniform skirts.

TheSarah said...

I'm thinking back to the things I saw girls wear when I was in middle school well over a decade ago. I seem to recall visible thongs and belly buttons and cleavage aplenty. Your daughter's principal's head would explode. Might be worth it to dredge up some pictures.

Anonymous said...

Right... If that's what inappropriate looks like, then I hope my daughter never dresses properly. If I were there, I would have pointed out one student who was worse and asked why she wasnt in the office. Then when no good reason was found, chew out the principal for wasting my time.

Madfoot said...

I mean ... did you have words with the principal? Because this is pretty weird and awful.

Stef at TooMuchToDoSoLittleTime.com said...

OMGOSH! I thought her ass would be hanging out from underneath her skirt or boobs would be hanging out... I just WISH that most of the girls at my daughter's school would coverup as much as your daughter!

WOW! I'm stunned!

postmormon girl said...

Absolutely stunned --- most parents would be proud if that was the worst outfit their daughter wore. And I find it just a little creepy that the principal was eye-ing your daughter enough to decide that her outfit was inappropriate.

Pete Daggett said...

The only inappropriateness in this little drama was the latent pervert that deemed her outfit to be 'suggestive'. He needs therapy.

sanzorama said...

Here via Jezebel. I'm a 7-12 grade teacher at a school with a strict dress code and I fail to find anything remotely inappropriate about your daughter's outfit. Methinks that there has to be more to this story.

bettyfokker said...

I regret to inform you that your daughter's school is being run by a twatwaffle. My condolences. However, you daughter is lovely and has a loving father, so she should overcome all attempts the aforementioned twatwaffle makes to squash her spirit. My felicitations.

Nachama said...

What is his name? We can Facebook him to hell if you like. and I would tell him that if he looks so much as cross-eyed at my child again I will call CPS. And I would do it.

txvoodoo said...

Do they have a cheerleading squad at this school? If so, do they wear below the knee skirts?

Outrageous.

Juliet Whitted Hattersley said...

4 syllables for you & your daughter: ACLU.

Unknown said...

i'm so sorry your time was wasted in such a ridiculous manner. your daughter looks sweet and appropriate to me and i also think it's shameful that the principal thought she looked "provacative". i come from a family of people who all work in various aspects of the school system, there isn't a school i'm aware of in this province that would take issue with what your daughter is wearing. good luck to her in high school and hopefully she can enjoy a little more freedom there, and will at least be out of the eyes of that "twatwaffle" (love it) administrator.

Suzy Smith said...

I would have her, in that outfit, at the next school board meeting. She is perfectly appropriately dressed and anyone that says she isn't has issues of their own.

Amy said...

My 17 year old son read this (on Jezebel) and said "What's wrong with what she's wearing?", to which I replied "nothing", and he walked away shaking his head and said "I give up on people".

And that pretty much sums it up for me as well. Her principal would have died in the school I went to in the late 80's and 90's. Ultra mini-skirts and belly buttons galore.

I hope you threaten them with a lawsuit for harassment. Seriously. That principal is off his rocker.

She Rides a Bike said...

Seems like the principal was looking at your daughter just a bit too closely. I don't see anything remotely sexualized about her dress. Frankly, some people will accuse females of being immodest and dressing inappropriately if they were to wear a burlap bag! Please send the principal your post and the comments to reflect upon.

Jackie said...

I'm sorry that your daughter's principal appears to be a pervy asshole. Her outfit is lovely! In fact (totally not the point of the post, I know), would you be so kind as to ask her where she got that belt and skirt, and then pass the information along? Tell her that this 23 year old wishes to flatter by imitation. :-)

Anonymous said...

Ten to one, principal man has read this and the Jezebel article. While I don't think he'll like being called a pervert, I doubt his opinion will change. He will continue to think that your daughter is responsible for how people choose to see her. That outfit is adorable, btw. If you can wear it to a church with no shame, it is probably okay for school. My grandma bought me a very similar skirt a few years ago.

manjushri924 said...

I commented about this on my own blog. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

BearDrummer said...

I would have to surmise that the principal had the girl under surveillance for some other reason, otherwise a .5 inch variance in such a muted outfit would not have drawn attention among the mass of kids dressing for attention. There are many reasons such surveillance could be occurring, but the one that comes to mind is a socio/political prejudice on the part of the person judging, due to the political/religious leanings of the girls family? That got me in trouble a lot growing up, and has nothing to do with outfit, or even the actions of the child.

Anonymous said...

I'm a teacher and I'm pretty sure I wear shorter skirts than that to work on a regular basis. HORROR!

Nathalie said...

Someone should probably have that school's principal's computer checked for childporn. If he thinks that is "provocative", on a 14-yo girl, you don't want to know the rest of his thought process. What a creeper.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ! you live in Utah that shit will never stop! Just keep on keeping on.

Lauren said...

This is like the most age-appropriate outfit I've ever seen a young teenage girl wear!! How did the principal even realize the skirt was 1cm too short? That's prtty creepy.

Good on you for talking about this ridiculousness.

David said...

Based upon long experience in dealing with teen aged children(I raised four girls) my guess is that there is something here that you either do not know, or are not telling us. When your daughter was approached by the principal, what was her reaction. Was it respectful, as a student ought to react to a teacher, or did she exhibit the same attitude you have demonstrated in your post?

Also, did she know that her dress was too short? Based upon the photo you posted, it is likely that she didn't. Had she responded politely acknowledged her mistake, and stating that she would not again violate the code, my guess is that the principal would have dropped the subject.

Once again, I know nothing more than what you have posted. If my convulsions are incorrect, or offensive please forgive me.

ricnilotra said...

my guess is that there are two possibilities here. one is that they are backwater hicks that believes women should either be in the kitchen or birthing babies and not in school. the second is that they are bigoted fucks that are doing this because your family believes differently than they do but dont want to come out and say it.

Anonymous said...

Wearing a burqa doesn't automatically make you oppressed. http://oppressedbrowngirlsdoingthings.tumblr.com/

Anonymous said...

Provocativeness is in the eye of the beholder, not just the headmaster's opinion.

Every male wears pants (trousers), all of which feature a penis-shaped fly-zip bulge which is most prevalent when men sit down. If this cod-piece shaped material is not provocative, I don't know what is.

Heather Houlahan said...

I'm a prude. That outfit is cute as hell. The school principal is a creeper. That is all.

Susan Fox said...

Has it really come full circle back to hem lengths? My god, we went through the same sh-t when I was in junior high in the late 1960s. Two girls got called in for mini-skirts that were too short and were sent home. They showed up the next day in "grannie" dresses, which which were faux 19th century...full length, long sleeves, high collars...and got sent home. So then we all knew that what it was really all about was conforming to some arbitrary adult standard, period. I got sent home (my mom was called away from work to come get me) for wearing a cotton Japanese kimono because I was going to be making sukyiyaki for my Home Ec (remember that?) class at lunchtime.

Anonymous said...

She looks completely age-appropriate and lovely. You're on XOJane! http://www.xojane.com/issues/inappropriate-outfit-teenage-girl

adult onset atheist said...

My daughter loves your comments! She now feels more validated than violated by this whole affair! Thank You! Thank You!

Those of you who think this might have been precipitated by an additional set of issues are probably correct. AYD like her sister AOD have decided to abandon the Tooele school district to attend a magnate school in Salt Lake City (West High). AOD gets up early every morning to catch a 6 AM city bus which after 90 minutes gets her to school about a half an hour before school starts. After school she waits for 90 minutes before the first bus arrives that can take her on the 70 minute ride home. She does this because West High offered her a seat in both AP calculus and Statistics in her sophomore year. Tooele offered her the choice of social dance or seminary. Social dance requires that girls wear high heals, and AOD is 6 feet tall in her stocking feet. My girls have a history of trying to excel beyond the bounds of what girls should be capable of. They succeed in excelling beyond the bounds of what normal humans are capable of. They certainly exceed both my capability and expectation.

AYD has not let her sister get too far ahead of her; despite their age difference. Just this year AYD won first place in the district and regional science fairs, and is a nominee for the national Broadcom Masters semi finals (semi finalists will be announced after June 18th).

As young kids they were intimidating to many adults. As they blossom into womanhood they appear unstoppable. Some people think such momentum must be tempered. Some people even convince themselves they are doing it for their own good. I think they are wrong, and I am their father. My opinion counts for a couple more years at least.

Morgan said...

This outfit looks like it is "work appropriate casual dress" fit for any business. The principal of her school is being capricious and, given the year book photos showing higher hemlines, practicing selective enforcement. I think he owes you and the taxpayers of the community a good explanation for his selective enforcement and waste of taxpayer money by pulling your daughter out of classes the taxpayer pays for. And the letters ACLU also come to mind.

Kelli said...

Ah, so that's it. The principal saw an opportunity to remind your blazingly intelligent daughter of what her "proper" place is and try to get her to be ashamed of herself. Nice try, pal! The fact that classes like "Social Dance" and "Seminary" are deemed acceptable replacements for high-level math and science for young women point to a mindset that girls are only temptresses in training that must be kept dumb and controlled. I grew up in an environment like that. It's not forever, and in a few years, she will be clear of it. PS, tell both your girls that buses are wonderful places to read, and there is a 30-something nerd girl out here who is very proud of them!

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the late 60s and early 70s. I was a boy with long hair, an avowed atheist, and pretty anti-authoritarian. I got harassed for not parroting the Pledge of Allegiance due to my objection to the phrase "Under God", so I know it can be hard to be different in a setting that places so much emphasis on conformity.

I hope your daughters do not let these sorts of actions by small minded "authority" figures intimidate them in to being less than they wish to be.

Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

We were called to my daughter's high school one day and told that wearing shorts (her's came to her knees) was inappropriate. However, children of two teachers were also wearing shorts that day, and were not called to the office. Upon entering the building I saw girls wearing skirts that they in no way could have sat down and maintained and semblance of modesty --but that was okay because they were skirts, and not the forbidden shorts. I pointed all of this out to the principle, whom I called by his first name just to make my point. He said the no shorts rule was his rule and he wouldn't change it. My wife and I went home and started calling parents. We called the school board secretary and asked to speak at the upcoming board meeting.

Before the board could meet, the principal reversed his rule and shorts were allowed.

Later, I became a board member; we we voted on a dress code I cast a "no" vote.

Bride of Chucky said...

Seriously? Her choice of clothing is very cute and stylish-not at all inappropriate. Was the Principal carrying around a ruler to measure hem length or something?

Chris Bingham said...

I wonder if it has anything to with your atheisim? Religious nutcases will go out of their way to harass children, just to make life difficult.

The principal should be fired, regardless.

Anonymous said...

Your daughter sounds-and looks-like a smart, classy woman. I have feeling it annoys her principal to no end. I hope she continues to annoy him with her excellence!

Anonymous said...

You should have flashed the old man a tit.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh. I can nearly see her whole knee there.

I had to go lie down and recover from a fit of the vapours.

Anonymous said...

I am a lawyer in Idaho and threatened a lawsuit when a friend's daughter was ordered to remove a cross pendant by a LDS vice-principal...school board chairman was most diligent in correcting him fast and apologizing.

You should at least document something about this guy--not only is he wrong (the outfit is appropriate and classy) but I agree that his thought process is perverted.

Richard said...

Sick SOBs. Mental exams for the complainants. That sort of insanity is for Chassids and the most conservative Muslims.

Anonymous said...

okay, so I actually looked up her school dress code policy. which states that skirts must be "finger-tip length" when arms are down to sides. If her fingers go all the way to her knees where her skirt is now, then she can go make some serious money in s circus. seriously...I hope you are fighting this!!

Steve said...

It strikes me that the principle in this case is being inappropriate by sexualizing the female students under his charge.

Anonymous said...

Lovely outfit, but those black glasses are a bit heavy. I'd suggest some stylish wireframes, rather than that black chunky frame! ;-)

heidikins said...

Good hell, your daughter is fine, MORE than fine, she is awesome.

The principal needs to resign. Immediately. His behavior is completely inappropriate.

xox

Anonymous said...

It wasn't until I saw the reference to Salt Lake City that I felt the need to write. Having lived as an atheist in Utah for a period of time, it strikes me that the principal was targeting your daughter on religious grounds. More exactly, owing to the fact that you publish "Adult Onset Atheist" and, perhaps, your daughter expresses secular views, the principal felt the need to "put your daughter in her place". If so, this is a matter of religious discrimination; I would contact the ACLU.

Anonymous said...

What was the principal doing looking at your daughter's knees in the first place?

Unless the back of the skirt was see through I have difficulty accepting the principal's 1/2" too short rule as a reason enough to disrupt her studies and your day.

Her outfit looks like something you could wear to the office.

It's not like she is dressed in skin tight clothes and a micro mini with a thong sticking out. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

Actually, you should thank the Principal. He provided you with a “teachable moment”. Sometime in the next few years, your daughter may say to you, “Mom, Dad, I don’t think I am smart enough to go to college”. And you can say “Remember Mr. X, your Junior High Principal? He graduated from college.”

Anonymous said...

I'm convulsing with laughter thanks to your "convulsions" !!

Anonymous said...

she looks like a....whore???
was she goose stepping through the halls too?

Katy said...

Thank you for reminding me (a California Mormon) why I dislike Utah Mormons so much. So freaking judgmental where they have no right.

John of Indiana said...

If I had to leave work on a call like that, I would have treated that principal to a rendition of Gunnery Sargent Hartman that would have had even R. Lee himself standing there open-mouthed.
Kid's principal called me in for a conference once and "suggested" that I have our pastor counsel her. I went off. I told him in no uncertain terms that whatever religion OR lack of was practiced in my home was none of his gawd-damned business and I was sure his suggestion was illegal.
He never bothered me again, the kid graduated a semster early, and last heard Mr. Principal was heading a church school. probably where parents don't question his Authori-TAY...

Anonymous said...

I'm calling BS on this story.

You're not giving us all the facts. Since you're an atheist, I'm guessing AYD doesn't attend a conservative religious school, so what was SPECIFICALLY wrong with her outfit?

You've done some bad writing in that you leave out the most important info: WHY?

That, and you think you're funny.

Anonymous said...

"It would take a pretty intense case of pedophilia to look at a girl dressed like that and get aroused. Keep an eye on that principal, methinks he doth protest too much."

Or, occam's razor applies. He's not a pedofile.

Anonymous said...

If anything I'd say that her outfit is a little on the conservative side of things. She might even be given a hard time here (and I'm in Appalachia) by peers for dressing too conservatively. So no there's absolutely no way there's anything provocative or wrong about her outfit.

She looks lovely and should be give a lot of leeway to wear what she wants as clearly she's not trying to show everything she's got like some kids do. Smart girls always intimidate uneducated moralists. She should wear this incident like a badge of honor!

Anonymous said...

I was hauled into the vice-principal's office in tenth grade for playing bridge. Apparently this violated a rule against card playing that had been instituted to curb gambling. The vice-principal called my mother at work, and upon learning the infraction was playing bridge, she let loose a reply that likely caused the VP permanent hearing damage. I was sent back to class without any further comment, and the vice-principal seemed to steer clear of me for the rest of the year. Thanks mom!

Anonymous said...

That principal is creepy. At my high school in the 1970's this would have been in the bottom 10% of the "provacative" scale. I imagine these days it would be in the bottom 1-5%.

Best wishes for your daughter in her future education!!!

Anonymous said...

I applaud your daughters for all their hard work to date and wanting to dvance their learning by taking AP classes. I can see where some of their intelligence came from by your blog. I guess I would ask your girls to look at this as a teaching moment. For the rest of their lives they will encounter stupid people who are in positions of authority. They do NOT have to quietly submit to them. Find some way, such as you have done, to fight back. And lastly people who want to force their religious beliefs on you are after one thing only, power and control. Resist them.

Orin said...

It amazes me that stuff like this is still an issue in 2012. Oh, well. It's yet another reason I would absolutely NOT send my kids (if I had any, which I don't) to public schools...

PHB said...

http://tooeleschools.org/schools/secondaryschools/tjhs/Pages/Faculty-and-Staff.aspx

I sent an email to the Principal Abraham, Larry pointing out that the article makes him look like a bully and a fool.

I would sue claiming that the dress code is imposing a religious standard of dress.

Absenting himself afterwards was a particularly dickish move. It would not have worked on me, I would have returned the next day.

I really hate bullies. And that principal is one.

From the sounds of things, Romney went to an even worse school. The no punishment for the bully, the victim is kicked out instantly for smoking. Kind of shows the warped priorities of the school.

Anonymous said...

The principal should be reported! Is he/she a closet pedaphile? That outfit is appropriate for school, church, shopping, movies, etc. What kind of a school is it? Did the principal measure her school to check the length or was the principal too busy looking at her curvaceous legs and dimpled knees?
I had to take my daughter out of a Catholic school because the head principal, a priest, kept calling her to the office for absurd "offenses" so he could watch her legs. There are some sickos out there where you least expect them.

Anonymous said...

Your daughter looks like she's dressed for church compared to the girls that go to the school near my home. They all look like they're going to a stripper convention. I commend this young woman for NOT dressing like that.

Anonymous said...

Having a daughter who would wear a similar type outfit, I'd have to say that she's probably even wearing some kind of shorts under the skirt, too. Congratulations on having a (no doubt) intelligent, interesting, creative, kind, thoughtful daughter who has no interest in dressing provocatively, but instead in getting a good education in Jr High only to go on to a high school and then college where the important things in life take precedence.

Buffy said...

You're in Utah. Anything more revealing than a nun's habit screams "prostitute"--at least to certain prudes who think the human body is something dirty and disgusting you should only share with someone you truly love and have agreed to share your entire life with.

Katrina said...

I saw this on Reddit originally, and it astounded me. Now I found out that this is the same junior high I went to! Well, in seventh grade. I grew up in Tooele too! And they have the same principal! It was 5 years ago that I went there, but I saw kids getting away with wayyy worse stuff.

Jen McKim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen McKim said...

I come HP and posted this comment there:

Couldn't he have asked to to pull it down a bit? geez If he was making a point--what I can't imagine--then it is lost in the absurdity of his complaint.

Agent Black said...

I might be tempted to frame this story and give it to your daughters principle when she graduates if I were you.

JillandMauricio said...

Okay, she is 6' tall!! I applaud her for finding a skirt that long. She does look adorable and I am glad she has found somewhere that makes her happy!

Anonymous said...

I assume you've seen that the article was picked up by Huffington post...there are an additional 1200 comments over there...

carrie-ann said...

i mean...it's utah. i live in mississippi and my daughter is targeted because she's open about being agnostic (i'm an atheist...they know that, too.) it's like she has different rules. could...that be part of it?

Anonymous said...

He's funny enough that you not only took the time to read his article, but also to post a comment on it. I'm calling BS on your comment...

obeydesign said...

That WHORE! That SLUT! Oh, we're not talking about Sarah Palin?

Nana said...

I personally know parents who would have been grateful to see their daughter wearing something that looked that good on them! She looks acceptable to me...

Anonymous said...

Where did she get her skirt from? It's really cute! I agree with a previous poster, her outfit was definitely a work appropriate casual style.

Tiff said...

Saw this on Huff Post. I was also an "exceptional" all through school - always beating out the best and brightest with top grades. And I got kicked out of school at least 3 times per year from 6th grade through Junior year due to my "inappropriate" clothing. My mom was proud of this because the same thing happened to her in the 50s & 60s. Your daughter will succeed and make something wonderful of her life. Her principal will most likely be in jail sometime in the relatively near future. What a creeper.

Victor Thompson said...

i just caught this on the Huff post..ridiculous..i guess unless you really are dressed as a hooker,than they'll leave you alone..
[IMG]http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m109/mildsedative/Hooker-018.jpg[/IMG]

Anonymous said...

Yeah! Where did she get her skirt? It's really nice and would totally be appropriate in my professional office...

Nik said...

To the daughter: I'm very sorry your principal got bent out of shape over your outfit. Unfortunately, people -- especially stupid people -- can't help but ACT stupid much of the time. As you grow older, they will get no smarter, so you may as well learn some patience with them now, and not take their criticism too seriously. Don't take it seriously, it sounds like you've got a great fan in your mom and among the other commenters here. I wish you the best!

Unknown said...

Instead of blaming everyone else, look at what you could do better. Talk to your daughter about how to sit and act in a loose skirt like that so her behavior is as modest as that outfit. As a middle school teacher, I often see girls who are ready to dress like a young woman but not yet ready to act like one. If you are confident that you have prepared your child for the proprieties of skirt wearing, then let it go. One time in two years means rare enough that you can chalk it up to bad luck or a bad judgment call. Do you really feel the need to call out an entire occupation over a single incident? That is sad.

Anonymous said...

You said this occured near the end of the school year. I would bet that at the beginning of the school year her skirt was more than an "aropriate" length. At 14 kids can grow 6 inches in a school year. Are you supposed to monitor her growth and ensure her wardrobe remains "appropriate"?
I find that a simple letter from an attorney (with a cc to the school board) is VERY effective and would probably result in the principle being reassigned. Government agencies such as a school board cringe at the word "liability" so use it.

Anonymous said...

I went to a Catholic co-ed high school and the rule was that the shortest the skirt could be was 2-inches above the knee. Yes, we had uniforms, but obviously there are different sizes and most girls hemmed their skirts as short as possible. Your daughter's dress is up to code for the Sisters of the Sacred Hearts and for the Jesuits, but not for the Morons I guess. Maybe, he was wearing those rose-colored glasses and reading those tablets from the Angel Macaroni!

Anonymous said...

I once got kicked out of school for wearing short shorts. Apparently this is a no-no for a guy. So I showed up the next day in a skirt and high heels. Principal didn't say a damn thing at that point.

Anonymous said...

@ "Unknown" (aka A. Sam LaVanaway III)
No, you are sad. Making baseless assumptions and slanderous accusations about this young woman's behavior when you know nothing of the facts involved is far worse than what you are accusing these people of. What do you teach at Elk Grove Unified School District? How to throw stones? Jesus certainly wouldn't have behaved as you just have.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, this type of dress is inappropriate? As a 30 year teacher in South Florida, it would be a breath of fresh air to see a student so well dressed. Cutoffs, flip flops, bare mid sections are the norm and not the exception...and that's elementary school! The local school board has no problem with beachwear as daywear (in writing, it's not allowed - but never enforced). ...and I thought only Floriduh did stupid stuff!!

Anonymous said...

Please tell your daughter she is beautiful and her outfit was adorable! Love the belt!

Anonymous said...

I am going to assume that a kid who hasn't made it to the principals office on any other occasion and is confident enough to dress like a young lady and not a hooker, is not guilty of running her mouth over this. Please don't attempt to blame her for an administrators stupid call. She looks lovely and I hope you will tell her we said so, AOA.

Bret said...

While I completely agree about the outfit -- it's appropriate and suitable for any occasion (and besides, you look smashing, dahling!) -- I take issue with the hyperbole. I understand your anger, I would be angry, too, but to paint all teachers and all administrators as prison guards and pedophiles is just wrong. You obviously have issues with that particular school, and whatever damage was done to your daughter in the process has been alleviated, by the comments. It's really great that once again educators as a whole get to be the public whipping-boys, and that they're all such monsters. I'm glad you were able to use me and my entire community for that purpose. Right on.

Anonymous said...

Your daughter looks adorable, nothing wrong here! Good for you for standing up for her. I was sent here through aol/huff post.

Anonymous said...

Your daughter is dressed nicely and seems to be a happy engaged person from the photo. It is also clear that you love and support your daughter as parents should.

The question I would ask is what is the policy? And, if she violated the policy, then she violated the policy. Most likely, it was not intentional and most likely won't happen again.

Otherwise, what are we teaching kids? If someone else is doing something wrong, then you can? And, where does that end?

Or, do we want to teach that if we can get a public outrage for a student's action, then we can force a school to back off a policy.

If the policy is wrong, perhaps the community should go to the BOE and ask for it to be changed.

There are many speeders on the road. Not all of them get a speeding ticket. On the other hand, if one is not speeding, then one will get a speeding ticket.

Anonymous said...

What is it about clothes and kids and bullying adults in any grade? My daughter wore a heavy jacket to school because it was cold that morning, but had a sweatshirt in her locker for when it warmed up later in the day. At recess, the aide got furious, insisted my daughter wear the heavy jacket and punished her by making her sit on the curb for the whole period. The principal yelled at me when I questioned this, and said she'd heard enough complaints about clothes and kids and recess, I wonder why. She's ten, my daughter that is.

Cycle Ninja said...

Just found your blog via a friend's facebook page linking to HuffPo. I second the comments and recommend sending the principal a calendar to remind him it's 2012, not the 1950s.

Liz said...

Chill Out, Bret. You arent mentioned by name in the article, so it really wasn't talking about you. I teach and have daughters, and am not offended. Get some perspective.

Anonymous said...

I am American, but I grew up in Beirut, Lebanon, in the Middle of the 80's civil war, went to a Catholic private school AND the girls then were wearing dresses that were WAY shorter than what your fabulous young lady is wearing...... This is flat out insane and I would say a direct attack on our freedoms as Americans.. What's next? Burqa's for girls and beards for boys??

33418d90-a59e-11e1-8422-000bcdcb2996 said...

When I was in middle school we had to walk to lunch in a straight line and we were told where to sit (no sitting with our friends God forbid) and there was absolutely no talking. I'm sorry, I thought lunch was supposed to be the time to have fun and hang out with your friends since you weren't allowed to talk to them in class because you had work to do. One day I was told to be quit by a teacher during lunch and me being the say-whatever-I-think type of person that I am yelled back at the teacher and told them it my was lunch time and it was meant for hanging out and talking, after that the teacher told me we were going to the principal's office and I said good that way I can tell him exactly what you're doing to us on our lunch! After that I was told to just sit back down. Teachers need to realize that kids in middle school aren't stupid little "toys" to be controlled, they're people too and have just as much to be treated like any teacher in that school. If you want respect, you give respect.

Michelle said...

My JR high daughter goes through the same thing..I get called because her shorts are "too short" only to pick her up and see other girls in shorts that show their butts! This is selective enforcement and I've told the principal as much..and after 3 calls for clothing changes have told him the next time I come in I'd better see ALL the 8th grade girls in appropriate clothing or I'd be contacting a lawyer..Your daughter looks lovely in that outfit..the principal is a perv.

Anonymous said...

Came over from HuffPo because I wanted to see where you lived -- hate to say it, but I would bet that the principal is LDS. I've heard a lot more lately about LDS girls having to have their skirts measured so that they cover the knee. It's awful.

Your daughter looks adorable! Seriously. I live in NYC and I wish I saw girls dressed that way. Absolutely adorable. Love her skirt. And she's wearing a nice, modest t-shirt too.

I don't even know what to say about that otherwise. :/

Anonymous said...

That principal wouldn't make it a day in the Lakeview High School in Battle Creek MI. The kids there (boys and girls) wear short shorts, Daisy Dukes, whatever you call them with flip-flops in the sunnier months. LOL

Anonymous said...

We live in NY. I also got one of those calls. My middle school daughter had worn long black baggy pants, sneakers and a long sleeve black hoodie to school. INAPPROPRIATE dress for girls by school standards... "too non-conformist". My response "she is covered from head to toe.... more than I can say for the little girls getting off the bus in heals, short-shorts that say "boodie-licious" with little belly shirts". Many of the girls outside the school look more like "prosti-tots" than "independent thinkers" I advised the school that my daughter's dress would not change and they should reconsider their position as the "norm" she is being encouraged to adopt.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say this is "unbelievable", but alas, I too, have experienced this sort of behavior when my daughter was in middle school. Select enforcement, singling out...your daughter looks great -- I wish more kids would take such pains to look this nice when they go to school. I'll agree with the comment above -- good riddance to this school and best of luck in High School!

Anonymous said...

You may not like me saying this, but I think, generally speaking, that parents' actions (this atheist blog, for example) do not go unnoticed by their children's schools and perhaps this was either a conscious or subconscious action on the part of the principal in response to your stated religious position? That is part of the reality of being a parent...like it or not. Sure we have freedom of speech, but it does not guarantee unwanted consequences - fair or not.

Anonymous said...

Before I read the principal's reasons for the dress-code infraction, I was trying to figure out the problem. The only thing I could figure was that the shirt was too tight (which it wasn't) but I never even imagined it was the skirt! As many others have mentioned, she looks both cute and appropriate. I'm pretty sure most of the teachers were totally okay with her outfit. I also might wonder about the principal.

Anonymous said...

It seemed ok to me. Two weeks before my son was due to graduate from h.s., he wore his ethnic appropriate kilt to school. They sent him home. No boggy he was a rebellious kinda kid. What the principal didn't say, was missing that day of school, put him over the days missed allowed, and caused my 19 almost 20 yo son to fail the year. The principal stated he would have to repeat the year. My son chose instead to drop out of school and did not get his GED until he was 25. Yes, my son was a major trouble maker, I would have thought they would want to get him out of the school, not keep him another year. My point, I think, is educators need to realize what effect they can have when they make unthoughtful decisions of the moment.

Anonymous said...

I see the "below the knee" rule is still alive and thriving. Yes, they actually do measure with a ruler or tape measure. I worked in school offices so I have witnessed this. One of the women in the office would be the person to measure the length.

It's not a bad rule, but there needs to be a clause that says...COMMON SENSE IS MANDATORY. The girls that I saw were, for the most part, dressed like "hoochie mamas" lol

Having said that, there is NOTHING INAPPROPRIATE with the outfit this young lady is wearing.

It is selective enforcement. I've seen girls in the office for their attire while other girls dressed inappropriately strolled right by and weren't called out for their clothing.

Amber said...

i've got to say, that's the most conservative and tasteful thing i've seen a junior high girl wearing in quite some time. maybe that's what threw them for a loop!

Libby said...

It seems to me that this is a case of harassment for your religious or lack of religious beliefs. If that were my daughter, I'd have a private little chat with that twerp and get him to explain exactly how he could tell 1/2" discrepancy and that if this IS a case of religious intolerance, I'd be speaking to the school board and the ACLU.

crazylife said...

WOW, I dont find myself speechless much but this shocked me!!! First off Id like to say your daughter is a beautiful young LADY, and I find nothing wrong with her outfit! When I first read the title i thought i was going to see a girl with an over load of makeup and a shirt that showed her tummy, and a skirt short enough that you could use as a napkin, lol, but her outfit is both very tasteful and appropriate! Wow, if these are school rules, than when my girls start school Im sure I will be getting phone calls almost daily. Personally I allow my children to dress how they see fit, but they know i have expectations of them as well, even though they are still young. but this just is something else! I cant believe that a school would react this way towards a skirt like this! I dont see ANYTHING wrong with it. I have seen girls going into my sons school with shorter skirts than this and hes only in 3rd grade, so i cant for the life of me figure out what is wrong with this outfit?!?! I am 27 years old, and remember wearing shorter skirts and shorts to school... and HOW long do shorts have to be? Bc im pretty sure they dont make shorts down past your knees these days... We do NOT live in 1950 where the poodle skirts are whats in... lol i would have thrown a fit in front of the WHOLE office and made a point to point out other girls who were wearing SHORTER skirts or shorts, I would make sure if they are picking out ONE child, that they HAVE to pick out ALL the girls, and measure EVERY SINGLE skirt or shorts as the girls walk through the doors in the morning before the first bell rings!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have seen private schools with shorter skirts than your daughters. I truly hope that you have planted your foot up that principals you know what!!!

Anonymous said...

Loved your daughter's outfit. It looked appropriate for her age. I probably upset with the principal with his judgement if I were the father. It's inexcusable for principal being not there to explain to you for her inappropriate dress.

Anonymous said...

Parents, PLEASE, support your school administration! For ONCE!!! Yes, the outfit looks quite appropriate compared to what we are generally subjected to on a daily basis in public schools. And why are we subjected to this much worse form of dress? Because parents like THIS BLOGGER question administrators and teachers constantly. You took a picture and posted it? And wrote an entire article? And then bashed how junior high students are treated? Seriously? This is what you do with your time? You have NO IDEA why our rules are in place, the corrosive nature of your actions, or how hard we work every day to make junior high students feel good about themselves and valued. You have no idea how we are constantly attacked by students and teachers who don't agree with what a teacher or administrator has done. YOU are the reason our schools have no recourse when students break rules. Yes, it seems silly, but evidently your child was not complying with a rule. Have you ever tried to enforce a dress code in a school? Back off on one inch, and then skirts inch up another and another. Back off 1/4 inch on a shirt strap, and then they get thinner and thinner and turn into camis and bra tops. BACK UP THE SCHOOL FOR ONCE, PARENTS! STOP THINKING YOU KNOW BETTER and that your chidl's civil rights and dignity are being violated just because a decision inconveniences you and you don't agree with it.

LanzaVolante said...

I see this everyday in schools in our district, and you are right to say that our schools have become mini "prisons". School Dress Codes are nothing more than guidelines and are taken to extremes to being viewed as "hard and fast" rules. To combat this I always ask them to cite to me where in the school's Student Handbook it states what is deemed "inappropriate" as far as dress and never have seen a measurement written in the guidelines on hems. State to them that all rules and regulations NEED to be IN WRITING, and not verbal. I also advocating learning your state's education law governing school district personnel and their powers within the school. An educated parent is a school principal's worst nightmare, especially one who is better informed than those who work for the school district.

f3d4382e-a5b6-11e1-8cb4-000bcdca4d7a said...

I am High School teacher by profession and by experience an ex-middle and high school student. Is it possible that the young lady in the picture had rolled up the waistband of the skirt so the hemline was considerably shorter than that projected in the picture? Thus the view of the principal might not be the view presented in the picture. I know this was done by students when I was in school and I have seen it in my current school, though I confess as a male, I never tried it myself.
If this was not the case: And it very well may not be, I add my voice to the throng that sees nothing wrong with the appearance of the student in the picture.

Anonymous said...

What does this have to do with atheism? Anyway, as a former school teacher, I found my administration to be inconsistent and closed earred about the other side of the story. The principal would lose face if he had to back down and apologize for his error.
She was appropriately dressed.
Andi

LanzaVolante said...

To the Anonymous commenter who thinks we should give all our controls over to teachers and administrators, WE DO KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN!!!! They are our kids, not the school districts. There is a law I guess you are totally unaware of, it is called the No Child Left Behind Act of 2000 which states that schools MUST INVOLVE PARENTS AS, now get this, FULL PARTNERS. Not partial, not temporary, not interim, no as FULL Partners. Woodrow Wilson said that parents are the OWNERS of the Public Education system, and as an owner I do not let my management team run my business any way they see fit. They must follow the same laws governing education as Ido, and there is no room for maverick thinking on their parts. I don't support my school administration, I collaborate with them in making my child's school better for our community. To give them total control over your kids is asking for trouble down the line.

Hamilton said...

Well said Lanza...

Anonymous said...

School sucks.

http://edu-lu-tion.com/video




Joe

Anonymous said...

If one of my three daughters had worn that to school, I'd of assumed they were taking photos that day, she had a musical concert to perform in, or she was doing volunteer work at an old folks home.

That principal is no pal.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, hope you follow up officially with the principal. Although the article is great!

Your young lady looks appropriate to me and my wife says I am very conservative.

Im glad we homeschool and have boys. Sorry you went through that.

Anonymous said...

This blog discussion is not going to help the daughter in any way...do you think her prospective high school teachers and administrators are not aware of this? Yes, we love and adore our children, after all, don't we all have the smartest, most compassionate, wittiest, most beautiful kid(s)? But as parents, we must temper our emotions for our children's best interests. You teach your children how to optimally deal with the small injustices in life to prepare them for the inevitable larger injustices in adulthood. Going public is not without risks to their reputation (which includes their parents' actions). Believe me...I am trying to give you wise advice, having witnessed similar situations in my career.

Anonymous said...

My Junior Highschool implemented a strict tardy policy one year. During this time two fellow classmates and I were carted to the Principle's office when we were caught ten feet from the doorway...of the cafeteria for our lunch break. We were given detention. All three of us were A students.

Tanja said...

What a silly man. Given her school track record, I am sure he wants to take her down a peg or ten. The message is "you may be super-intelligent but I am super-god in here"...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is "totally unaware of NCLB? The fact that you would even mention that in this context shows you have no understanding of what she is trying to make people like you understand. Wow.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 31-year-old mom (of a two-year-old girl) and a Christian (NOT Mormon); a friend of mine had linked your blog post from Huffington Post.

I'm actually lacking the right words to express the utter and complete fail of the principal; the skirt looks fine on your daughter and, honestly, I'd like to find one just like it.

Even my husband (a Marine) failed to see how it was inappropriate...until I told him that all y'all (I'm from the South.) live in Utah.

LanzaVolante said...

Believe me I know exactly what Anonymous was stating, and it was self serving to the school administration and not to the best interest of the parent or the student. Teachers and School Administrators are nothing more than Government workers and are paid by the public. The are Public Servants and answer to the constituents of the community- the parents. You forget that without the parents schools would not exist and teachers would not have employment. A business needs customers in order to thrive and expand, but what happens when you abuse customers you lose business. This is why there has been an insurgence of Charter schools in recent years because someone decided to business differently. You are the one who obviously does not get what was done for parents to allow them to have a voice in our own children's education.

LanzaVolante said...

Excuse my misspellings as I should of edited better.

Wil Hutton said...

Wow, there's a lot of "You shouldn't be questioning the administrator" mouth-breathers in these comments. Guess what? School administration wouldn't have gotten to the inconsistent, inept, ludicrously over bureaucratic, power trip that it now is if people *had* called them to the mat instead of crying, "Oh those poor administrators, we should cut them some slack." No, we should not cut them any slack. I'm not going to just completely support school administrators or their policies when it is clear that they are in the wrong. They need to be called out on it, as publicly as possible.

Irene said...

Good lord. In 1971, I wore skirts so short that if you deviated from the straight upright standing position, you would moon someone. We had to learn special techniques for getting in an out of cars in a "modest" manner. Ha! In the 1970-71 school year, we protested the dress code, which included no pants or jeans for girls. Our cause was expedited when it was found out that the vice-principal _the one who measured our skirt lengths_ was having sex with several girls in the high school and had made moves on many more.

There are some who call me... Tim said...

Wow - I was expecting a skirt half-way up the thigh. I cannot see that outfit being anything BUT appropriate for a young lady at school.

james said...

don't worry about it little girl you go were what we wish to don't let people tell me i think it funny school get hot under the neck all about solittle she is a hot one ox go girl your a hot girl wow

Narlene Allen said...

From one mother to another, I have to say - Thank you for raising an "appropriate" young lady! She looks lovely and I think that you have every right as a parent to be completely incensed by the principals comments. Unfortunately I think that he was probably just having a selective punishment moment and your lovely daughter happened to be in the way that day. This just might be a point to bring up with the superintendent or community council at the school. Perhaps you and your daughter deserve an apology!

james said...

she's hot the school getting upset over nothing,your mom have done 100 things over her one little thing go girl,its nothing lol over the school.she's a fox more girl that are hot should dress like it show that nice pretty girl ox

Anonymous said...

she's hot the school getting upset over nothing,your mom have done 100 things over her one little thing go girl,its nothing lol over the school.she's a fox more girl that are hot should dress like it show that nice pretty girl ox

whatidesiredtosay said...

IDK if this point has been made but...

I'm sure the only way that principal knows the skirt was a half inch too short is because he looks at a half inch every day in the shower.

Sheryl Parsons said...

Is it possible she had the skirt hiked up a bit more than is showing in the photo? Young girls do that all the time. Not having seen what the principal saw, perhaps all the foul mouthed brain children here should think before they type. As it is though the outfit is cute, more modest than most. Although I can see where the skirt appears to be pulled down a bit. Hmmmm.....

Anonymous said...

nice work turning a minor incident into an internet ripple there, super mature of you to complain via blog rather than set up some sort of conference with the principle if you disagree. As for people calling the principal a pedo, you're all retarded. Dude is following his school's guidelines and you're demonizing him for it. You're what's wrong with America.
p.s. barring her eyes? you realize if people cared enough to find out who she is from that picture they could. Enjoy the bullying she will undoubtedly receive in high school over this.

Anonymous said...

It's because we live in effing UTAH! Mormons here are judgmental HIPPOCRATES! The principle is probably morman and because he was attracted to your daughter it's her fault, not his, no he's not creepy at all. Mormons are the best at pushing off the blame!!!

Anonymous said...

Your daughter's outfit is adorable and I sincerely hope the principal didn't single her out because you (and I'm guessing your family) are not practicing Mormons. When my younger sister was in high school in Layton, UT, a teacher there tried to tell her she could make up some of her grade by having her parents attend so many sessions at the temple. Now my family is practicing LDS and my mom was incensed! She marched herself down to that teacher's office and gave him a lecture I'm sure he didn't soon forget. And in response to the last comment, not all Mormons (Utah or not) are as judgmental as he claims. Isn't he being judgmental by painting all members of one religion with the same brush. I do understand some of the difficulties of living in Utah as I was raised in California.

Anonymous said...

She looks so cute! I would say this is MORE than appropriate compared to what girl's her age are wearing now. I'm actually baffled that this even happened.

newjerseybadger said...

There are a frightening number of "anonymous" posters here who think the school administrator was in the right, or should be cut slack for this ludicrous decision. These are civil 'servants', not civil 'masters', and they need to be prevented from imposing their own cultural standards outside of the educational mission. They are fallible human beings, like all the rest of us, and need not be treated as anything else.

Anonymous said...

I attended a suburban high school just outside of a northwestern Ohio city in the late sixties/early seventies.

In my four years there, the most girls regularly wore skirts that were as short as, if not shorter than, the one your daughter is wearing.

I think that our educational system as gone absolutely insane.

KT said...

We are moving to Tooele very soon. I've bookmarked your page, maybe our families can bbq some babies sometime!

Anonymous said...

I'm graduated High School 1971. Micro Mini Skirts were fine. I got sent to the office for wearing Coulottes. You know. Wide leg shorts that look like a skirt when your legs are together. My Mother and I both asked if they weren't allowed because the boys couldn't see my underwear like they could with the mini skirts.

Jim P. said...

As I posted in the Advice Goddess blog:

That outfit would be appropriate for work, school, or even an evening out.

Please take the time to tell the principal to "Go F*** Off!!"

I bet his head would explode watching Wilson Phillips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvh5x3YrmRE

Their dresses aren't long enough.

Anonymous said...

I worked at a middle school cafeteria a few years back here in Utah and didn't like how they made the girls where shirts to cover up if they wore inappropriate attire but yet the boys had their pants so low that their butts(just their underwear was showing) were hanging out of their pants and nothing was ever said or done about it. At the very end of the school year while finishing cleaning up after lunch. The principal and vice principal(both women) were in the cafeteria still talking. I called them over and asked them if there was a double standard here. They seemed surprised. I said I was tired of seeing the round of the boys butts out the back of their pants but yet the girls are told to dress modestly. They were dumbstruck and didn't know what to say. It was quite hilarious but I was so fed up with it that it made me angry. Something has got to be done about the boys hanging their pants to the ground!

Unknown said...

I live in the Tooele area, and agree that the principal was WAY out of line.

But one of your commenters dropped an "effing Mormons" bomb. Guess what, sweetheart? I doubt you could scrape together a half dozen Mormons in the Tooele area who agree with the principal. The issue isn't "Mormons." The issue is brain dead bureaucrats. And possibly that the guy looks for excuses to measure young girls legs. "Mormons" has nothing to do with it. You, sir, are a bigot. I don't believe in god AT ALL, but I'll be damned if I'll ever identify myself as an "Atheist", at least with a capital "A", for fear of associating myself with bitter people like you.

Shawnee said...

While it is true that this principal is more than likely Mormon, it makes me sad that a lot of people seem to be blaming this incident on that fact. No, not all Mormons are bat-shit crazy creepers.

Whether Catholic, Agnostic, Athiest, Mormon, Jewish, or otherwise we need to respect others doctrine and beliefs just the way you'd want them to respect yours.

Coming from a ”Utah Mormon” perspective, that principal is absolutely in the wrong. Your daughters (adorable) skirt is a lot more modest than a lot of the things I wore 9 years ago when I was in 9th grade. Props to you for being the kind of parent who won't take this sitting down.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for grouping all MormOns together there, friend. Super intelligent of you.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. I'm a Utah Mormon and I find nothing wrong with her outfit. I also know almost every other Utah Mormon would feel the same as me. I also have a teacher background and I almost never knew my student's religious background. We weren't allowed to talk about it and so unless I was directly told it never came up.

Anonymous said...

@ Mel, I am a Mormon. I think her skirt is completely appropriate! It's darling. I think it's sad, though, that you would jump to the conclusion that it was somehow a Mormons fault that she was singled out. What an uneducated and stereotypical assumption!

Anonymous said...

Hey all you Mormon bashers - you've got the spelling wrong. It's not a "Mormon" problem; the principal is a "Moron". There, I hope that clears things up!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of morons - go James!

Brian McCabe said...

I've not read all the comments so I don't know if this has been touched on or not, but based on the name of the blog, I am operating under the assumption that the father of this young lady is in fact an atheist.

As a resident of Tooele and an active Latter-day Saint (Mormon), and without making any actual accusation, let me just say that if I were to catch wind that this principal singled out this young lady purely (or partially, for that matter) out of a desire to harass a household whose views differ from his, I would be the first to line up side by side with you in protest. Such warfare is disgusting to me. One thing I LOVE about Tooele is that folks generally don't care what your background is, what your religious views are, etc, and everyone makes an effort to be nice to one another. This is just my view, and if this principal's behavior and decision-making flies in the face of that, then I am deeply disappointed. To the father - you have a friend in me. Your daughter seems like a lovely girl and her outfit was 1000% appropriate. Irrespective of the principal's logic, he has some explaining to do. DO NOT let him duck this. Contact me at briansmccabe@gmail.com if there's anything I can do to help.

Mandy Fancher said...

My daughter attends Bonneville Jr High in Holladay, Ut. She was recently pink slipped for wearing a velour sweatsuit outfit that was deemed "too tight". Utah is quite a culture shock compared to the rest of the United States and the Administration needs to revisit the issue of the dress code in schools. I wouldn't allow my child to wear something inappropriate and if she did the school should've called me to discuss this matter, but they didn't.

Anonymous said...

Wait what? I'm more interested in an atheist in Utah. Yay! I'm not the only one! Btw, skirts fine, the school is being ridiculous.

Mickey Bitsko said...

Lots of posts here, many of them ignorant, bigoted and hypocritical. Some points:

1. Her dress was completely appropriate, and the principal is WAY out of line.

2. Having lived in Utah all my life, and been raised LDS, I can say without fear of INFORMED contradiction that 99% of Mormons agree with me. There is nothing wrong with her dress.

3. I've never seen or heard of "Mormons" measuring girls skirts merely because they're "Mormons."

4. The principal may be LDS, but he did what he did because he's a brainless bureaucrat. He would have done the same if he was a Wiccan.

5. Some of you people need to visit Southern Baptist country if you think Utah is "oppressive."

I don't believe in god. At all. But I refuse to identify myself as an "atheist" for fear of associating myself with people like YOU. You're ignorant, self-righteous bigots, at best.

The problem is mindless government, not "Mormons" or "religion." A lot of you folks who are upset about this will line up to vote for Obama in the fall, like good little sheep. You don't want government measuring your kids' hemlines, but you'll happily sign them up for a lifetime of government intrusion and servitude. Use your heads.

Anonymous said...

I saw this on the news and found it ridiculous that the principal, who obviously has some repressed urges or thoughts, sent this child home for her "inappropriate" outfit. I also found it funny that the principal said something about "determinating" or some other made-up word. Sounded to me like backpedaling.

Anonymous said...

Personally I think your daughter's outfit does not look provocative enough .. it looks like the drab, conservative, excessively-desexualized you'd expect to see in a psychotically puritan, Victorian deranged subculture. Young women should be allowed to enjoy their femininity; this culture of desexualization and uptightness about sexuality is one of the problems that leads to marital unhappiness and high rates of divorce in our society. And no, that doesn't mean condoning pedophilia.

Burk said...

Great post. I'm only a few miles north so I am not as astounded as some, but you really do need to push this with the principal.

Also, nice blog.

Anonymous said...

Why has my comment been deleted?

Anonymous said...

Great, so the answer to oppressive puritanism, is to lavishly praise puritanic outfits to pander to the oppressors ... it is with an apparent lack of any sense of irony that half of you don't realize that you are part of the very problem you're railing against.

Anonymous said...

@Adult Onset Atheist, would you pretend to embrace belief in God to please Christians in your community? If not then why would you pretend to embrace puritanism to please puritans in your community? All this falling in line and pandering by absolutely everyone is precisely why these people get away with it. It's time to say enough, stop dictating puritanism on others.

Bjorge Queen said...

Be glad that there were no student dress code vigilantes around to pin her down, cut the skirt off, and dress her in something more fitting with the commonly accepted Mormon standard of decency. (cough cough)

You must be an exteremely proud father, btw. :)

Anonymous said...

As a student, I have been told my shorts are too short. But I also have super long legs and arms that make it more noticeable. My mom brought me more appropriate pants and then at the end of the day, I asked my teacher if I could go change back. I came back with my inappropriate shorts on and my teacher was wondering why I was asked to change. I honestly think that if administration is going to get uptight about dress code, then make sure you can't see more than desired with both girls and guys. There are so many more issues that can be resolved than a skirt or shorts being 1/2 and inch to short...

adult onset atheist said...

I have not deleted any comments on this thread. I have been considering the idea of selectively eliminating anonymous comments that do not contribute to the discussion, or which I find irritating. This is my blog, and I've never advertised it as a public forum for anyone else. However, I cannot recall a time I have ever deleted comments, and I have deleted none on this entry. Posting as not anonymous will cause your comment to be removed is if your name is "Cheap generic Viagra" or "Mumbai escorts" or the like. SPAM and SPAM-like comments will be removed. If you insist on advertising naked pictures of people or pharmaceuticals your comments will not show up. There are many places on the internet to advertise your products or pornography so my removing your comments for being SPAM does not inhibit your free speech.



Is SPAM protected free speech anyway?

adult onset atheist said...

I strongly recommend that people commenting on this blog not do so anonymously. I have been considering turning off the ability to comment anonymously.

Best New Forex said...

I taught at this school. The principal is not all that unreasonable. I actually thought he was a good guy. It's the Mormon mindset and this obsession with modesty. I could tell you stories far more ridiculous than this about how they try to protect their kids from the real world. In a place like Tooele you're dealing with a small town, church-centered community where Mormon expectations are the defacto law of the land. It's very white, conservative, and Republican - not the real world.

Anonymous said...

Would you consider moving to Olympia? You and your family would be welcomed.
Lew Cox, Olympia

Anonymous said...

While it's sad that your daughter was embarassed over the situation. They have the dress code posted as you walk in the school and they give you hand outs before school starts. It's not a matter of wether or not if the out fit is appropriate, it is a matter of does it fit the dress code policy of the school? I love that we live in a society where the rules are fine for everyone else, but we each get to pick and choose which rules are applicable to our own situations. If you don't like the dress code at the school you have other options! There are two other schools in the area.

Sue W. said...

http://www.facebook.com/abc4utah

CHECK OUT HOW TYPICAL UTAHN'S(LDS)ARE SPINNING THIS~I TRIED REALLY I TRIED
SUE WILLOUGHBY
CEDAR CITY MOMMY AND FELLOW PARENT OF THIS GARBAGE TO TOW OUT OF THREE OF MY KIDS!!
CHEWED UP AND SPIT OUT

Anonymous said...

I think the problem is your principal is paying inappropriate, pervy attention to your daughter's skirt. Maybe he has a secret fetish about the back of a girls needs.

Anonymous said...

It seems to me he's making an example of being super strict. If he busts someone like that (btw I don't see the problem with her outfit), others will know he's not joking about dress code. Being in charge isn't meant to get you liked. Guarantee others will be more careful about that. Though that skirt is nearly touching her knee's. I still say that in leadership positions, that is still highly affective method of approach.
A form of speed traps.

Anonymous said...

!?! You're gross.

Anonymous said...

you have got to be kidding me... I teach junior high and I could only wish some of my students would wear something like that that is entirely appropriate. Instead I get the students who are actually dressed inappropriate. I told one girl yesterday that her bum was literally coming out of the bottom of her skirt. Tell your daughter she's a role model and your principal he's a pervert. Signed, okay in my classroom

Anonymous said...

What an a abuse of power. I would have ripped the Pr. a new asshole for that. He's the one who deserves to be punished.

Joe Bigliogo

Patrick Hester said...

Do you think that you and your daughter would want to come on our daytime show, next week in Chicago, for a potential makeover? I don't think your daughter looked inappropriate, but perhaps she could get some new clothes before she starts college. If interested, message me at talkshowcasting1@gmail.com

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Jennifer Booth said...

Just now coming across your post... I write a local fashion blog here in Tooele, and spent my entire youth in the Tooele school system (THS class of 04!). I just wanted to say that I think your daughter's outfit was adorable, and I can attest to the flagrant violations of the dress code that are regularly ignored by staff and faculty, particularly in the junior high. I've dealt with several different junior high administrations, and every one of them has come across as condescending and arrogant, and they clearly play favorites among the students.

Anyway, I hope your daughter is enjoying high school. I understand how hard it can be to find attractive, trendy clothes on a budget that conform to our district's dress code (I spent most of my adolescent years in Jnco's and skater tees because of that)... if she ever needs help or advice, feel free to drop me a line :)

www.frayed-threads.com

Ahmed said...

Knowing the fact that rules are based on school districts and not individual schools, there's something seriously wrong with the district, and more importantly the principal of that individual school who must be evaluated for inappropriate sexual behavior or mentality.

On the other hand, titling the article "Burqa" seems kind of derogatory towards certain people, considering that even certain Arab countries don't regard this sort of outfit as "inappropriate".

Peace.