Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Angels Wanna Wear His Red Shoes

When Joseph Aloisius “Benedict XVI” Ratzinger took over that papacy from the then late Karol Józef “John Paul II” Wojtyła he metaphorically stepped into the “Shoes of the Fisherman”, and literally stepped into some handmade red-leather Italian loafers custom made for his holiest of piggies. In order to ensure that angels, or at least Saints, would want to wear his red shoes he had his predecessor buried wearing a pair, and then set about to beatify him. Karol was beatified on the 11th of May 2011, and in celebration POTUS Obama announced that Osama Bin Laden had been killed.

Karol preferred brown loafers while he lived, but Joseph re-instituted the traditional red loafers when he stepped into them. Unfortunately Joseph will have to give up his red shoes when he steps out of them so that another can take his place without being too crowded.

The modern papacy is shadowed by the cloud of priest sex-abuse scandals. Just yesterday another member of the conclave that would elect a new pope resigned amid accusations of “inappropriate acts” with fellow priests; at least this Cardinal is only accused of frolicking with other consenting adults (at least all that I’ve read so far). Some argue that priests in the Catholic Church are incapable of granting adult consent, and should be thought of as morally incompetent.

The pedophile priest shuffling that occurred under the watch of Karol had many people questioning his sainthood, and these were people who would not otherwise be questioning the intrinsic idea of sainthood. I personally think that pedophile priest sheltering has no bearing on the validity of Karol’s sainthood, but that is due to the trivial idea that sainthood itself is a sham.

I tend to believe that the miracle requirement for sainthood should be a major stumbling block. It turned out to be only a minor setback for Karol. Sister Marie Simon-Pierre prayed to Karol, and her Parkinson’s disease was cured, and then some 9-year-old Polish boy crippled by cancer went to Karol’s tomb, and started walking. Two miracles and Karol had Sainthood in the bag.

Now Karol is the patron saint of “World Youth Day”. Fortunately they also have Anjezë Gonxhe “Blessed Teresa of Calcutta” Bojaxhiu as a co-patron saint.   Perhaps to make sure Karol does not perform any inappropriate miracles on the world’s collected youth. As far as I can tell they did not have a WYD in 2012, and may re-schedule 2013 so as not to conflict with the World’s Cup.

Joseph will still be able to wear white dresses after he steps down. I assume that he will be able to do this even between the celebrations of Labor and memorial days, but no red shoes.


Anonymous said...

"the then late Karol Józef “John Paul II” Wojtyła"

"Then" used in such a position means that the status has since changed. If John Paul II has ceased to be "late", I think I would have heard about it.

adult onset atheist said...

Sainthood is a bit confusing to me. He was dead, so he had to be replaced as pope. However, once released from his position he was able to show up to perform miracles, and then when elevated to sainthood was able to take a regular job (well semi-regular) patronizing the World's Youth.