summertime and the living is queasy

There are summer days in Washington DC when the sky is a grayish solvent in which clouds become soggy, and then completely disolve. The weight of this added humidity makes the air semi-liquid, and the surface of the Potomac River in summer looses definition as a phase boundary between liquid and gas. Gills might be better suited to breathe this air.

The skin of moist amphibians is permeable to both oxygen and carbon-dioxide. They can breathe through their skin. Mammalian pores that gasp for air in the Washington DC summer heat might be trying to recapture some vestigial respiratory function, but they just vomit forth constant streams of sweat. The sweat is seamlessly miscible with the humid air.

At any moment the air will abandon its vain attempts at standing on the gaseous side of phase-change. Instead of just licking surfaces it will condense into festering oily pools. The world threatens to become the worst Jacuzzi ever.

What better time for AYD and I to fly out to DC for a vacation. Yay!

We will visit the Nation’s Klansman.


National Klansman

 


Looking up at its pointy top I will relate to AYD how President Zachary Taylor (standing right where we happen to be standing) spoke at the groundbreaking ceremony for this great monument on July 4th 1850. Since I have no idea where ZT actually stood I will have no problem finding the exact spot. It was so hot that he eagerly slurped up a cool bowl of cherries and milk which happened to be poisoned. Five days later, at 10 AM on July 9th, ZT said “I’m ready to die”; then did.

“If it is hot enough” I’ll add pointing towards the White House “You can hear the echoing relief in President Taylor’s voice. Or the hint of guilt when he said ‘My only regret is for the friends I leave behind me.’ He knew they had weeks of DC summer heat yet to go”.

DC is so full of history. I should also be able to point to the tidal basin from the Washington Monument.

“There” I’ll say “Is where, at 2 AM on October 9th 1974, Fannie Foxxe jumped into the Tidal basin trying to escape both Wilbur Mills and the DC police. It wasn’t as hot in October as it was that August when, on the 8th of August 1974, Richard Nixon resigned.”

It is so interesting to talk of presidential history during the start of a presidential election cycle.

I think a lot of our trip will be spent flitting from air-conditioned metro-stop to air conditioned museum. I’ll point out the decay of artistic sensibility captured in the National Museum of Art’s historical collections. It is amazing to actually see firsthand through changes in art how abilities and skills simply evaporated when Christianity took over Europe. Maybe we will discuss Michelle Bachman at the same time.

We will also flit into air-conditioned Starbucks. The nearest Starbucks to my house is over 30 miles away. I plan to be amazed by their presence on every street corner; it gets me every time. I may even jack into the WiFi and do a blog entry or two.

They see you! Run!

It should come as no big surprise that the local papers here in Utah don’t sport banner headlines about this weekend’s legalization of same sex marriage in New York. It happened, after all, in New York not Utah. However, the weeks leading up to, and months leading away from, the California Prop 8 vote garnered several well-placed news stories. Perhaps there is something more important about California to Utah? In the run-up to the 2008 elections millions of dollars in morality export money was sent to California from Utah. We here knew something about Morality that Californians needed to hear. Don’t think Utah was only willing to give money either; many people from Utah would have come over in person to help Californians vote if they could have.

I bet the family of Lidia Tovar age 36 wished she had. I never knew Linda, but I wish she had gone to California for the November 2008 elections, and then stayed a few more weeks. Linda was crossing South Temple in a properly-marked crosswalk near 300 East on December 29th 2008 when she was hit by a car that was attempting a left turn. The massive brain injury she suffered as a result of the collision ended her life a short time later. The driver said she ”didn’t see” Linda in the crosswalk, and was not issued a citation.

That sort of interaction is viewed differently in California. Here is an extended quote from the “California Driver Handbook Laws and Rules of the Road”:

Pedestrian deaths occur in 17 percent of all traffic fatalities. Drive cautiously when pedestrians are near because they may suddenly cross your path.
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• Respect the right-of-way of pedestrians. Always stop for any pedestrian crossing at corners or other crosswalks, even if the crosswalk is in the middle of the block, at corners with or without traffic lights, whether or not the crosswalks are marked by painted lines.
• Remember, if a pedestrian makes eye contact with you, he or she is ready to cross the street. Yield to the pedestrian.
• Allow older pedestrians, disabled pedestrians and pedestrians with young children sufficient time to cross the street.


Crosswalks


A crosswalk is the part of the roadway set aside for pedestrian traffic. Most intersections have a pedestrian crosswalk whether or not lines are painted on the street. Most crosswalks are located at corners, but they can also be located in the middle of the block. Before turning a corner, watch for people about to cross the street. Pedestrians have the right-of-way in crosswalks.
Crosswalks are often marked with white lines. Yellow crosswalk lines may be painted at school crossings. Most often, crosswalks in residential areas are not marked.
Some crosswalks have flashing lights to warn you that pedestrians may be crossing. Look for pedestrians and be prepared to stop, whether or not the lights are flashing.

The Utah code has information about crosswalks and pedestrians. Unless it is a school crosswalk the most important piece of information is:

41-6a-1001-1) A pedestrian shall obey the instructions of a traffic-control device specifically applicable to the pedestrian unless otherwise directed by a peace officer.

There is common sense advice for pedestrians in Utah also: “Get out of the road FAST if you see cars”.

According to California spokesperson Carrie Prejean the reason why same-sex marriage must not be made legal is because of families. Families == children. The kids are going to be hurt or something somewhere if people get married and then have the same type of sex....

The fact that some middle-aged men might be seen nodding in agreement with Ms. Prejean does not necessarily mean they agree with her; it does not even mean they are listening to what she is saying.

New York may have slipped from Utah’s moral hold, but California may still be receptive. With prop 8 still in judicial limbo perhaps we can get started educating California on other moral imperatives. Does anyone in California know how many extra points one gets for a woman in a wheelchair IF she has a Pomeranian on her lap?

This weekend two young girls were crossing 5400 south near 3400 (don’t get too strung out about the extra 0s, that’s just the way streets are numbered in Salt Lake City) in Salt Lake City. When the light turned green for the eastbound minivan the 11 year old girl had not finished crossing the crosswalk. She will never celebrate her 12th birthday. Taylorsville police sergeant Tracy Wyant described the accident this way:

"The light had just switched for eastbound traffic and it appears as though they got across too late" -- Tracy Wyant

Wyant went on to point out that the driver of the minivan had the green light, and likely will not be cited.

It is interesting to note that New York’s crosswalk laws are more similar to Utah’s than to California’s. Perhaps Utah has been exporting a different type of morality to New York?

Epiphanot

Life often affords only a tenuous grasp on reality, but some would tighten their grip to a stranglehold in the hope of gaining a firmer attachment to it; squeezing not just with the gray-matter-bound tendons of perception, but sympathetically with bulging temple veins, clenched teeth, and irritated bowels. They would destroy what they know of reality rather than let it slip away.

Unfortunately many of the people with this manic compulsion have both an internet connection, and a firm faith in a theist god. The reality they want to hold onto is one where their god and the machinery of existence platonically cohabitate. As the theist ages they realize that these two entities will never get married. There is no real sense of commitment between the two. God is going to leave and abandon sanity for reality to raise on its own. God rarely provides sanity support after he leaves.

However, there are those moments when everything seems to fit. Reality and god appear meant for each other.  The last puzzle piece of a great picture slides perfectly into place. This is what is meant by knowledge! This is the unknowable pathway to perfect truth! This defines the ultimate purpose for mankind! All history leads up to this time of knowing! The physical forces of reality begin to curve around the brand new node of pure thought that has spontaneously winked into being somewhere in your temporal lobe! A new eye opens and sees for the first time!

“That means that our whole solar system could be, like one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being. This is too much! That means one tiny atom in my fingernail could be...” – From the movie “Animal House”

Then the night gets old, and sleep comes. The morning (or perhaps late afternoon) sun finds that you have come down (sometimes literally) from the mountain. You realize that your epiphany was an epiphanot.

I once had the awkward pleasure of having a very literally minded Lutheran minister explain to me how plate tectonics proved that the world was only 6,000 years old. He said the idea "just came to him", and that it was perfect. God had stored up all this water underground, and when he released the water it formed a lubricant that the plates slid all over the globe on.

I had him repeat it a couple of times just to be sure I got the gist correct. He corrected me when I asked incredulously to clarify that he thought all the plates slid all over the globe in just forty days!

“No” he said “It was more like 24 hours...or less”

Though this may remain one of the best theories I have ever had seriously pitched at me a great contender surfaced yesterday.

It started with a assertion:

“The apparent contradiction [between the biblical 6,000 year old creation time-span and science's 14 billionish time-span] arises from the assumption that the creation of the universe will be at the beginning of the timeline of history, with no past behind it. But that can't be true. ….. So the creation of time would inherently involve the creation of a past as well as a present and future.”

Which, after several thousand words, was clarified a couple of times. Here is one clarification (just to polish to a nice shine this precious gem):

"I do think that the creation story in Genesis does not contradict mainstream science's view of the history of the universe. The six-day creation may have been the creation of a universe with a past, present, and future. In fact, it must have been that, because time can have no conceptual boundary or starting point. So, for example, when the sun was created, it may have been created not merely with a present and a future, but also with a past. This seems entirely plausible to me biblically and philosophically, and as long as it is, I don't think there is a contradiction between Genesis and an old earth, etc."

This is a Calvinist cosmology. At least it is Calvinist if we place some stringent and mundane controls on god's ability to create. If we simply examine god's abilities on the evidence of what he is postulated to be capable of things get way-cool. This logic actually allows god to make himself. All god needs to do is get around to making himself with enough past so that he has time to get around to making himself.

There are things we cannot be too sure about. God might not have gotten around to making the universe yet. We could be living in a future that is about to be created at some past time. This could explain the appalling lack of miracles. Perhaps god has been too busy trying to make enough time to create himself, and therefore has not gotten around to making the future we are living in now.

When god finally gets around to that special time 6,000 years ago so that he can make the universe the way the bible says I'm sure things will not only be radically different, but they will have been the same forever.

I hope that when god gets around to writing the bible we have been reading forever he leaves out Leviticus.