Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Chuck Norris's Hobby

You are entitled to your own opinions, but only Chuck Norris is entitled to his own facts.”

I have lots of hobbies. Many of them involve doing things alone, like looking into the night sky and imagining the extent of everything. Some involve other people, and some of those are my favorites.

There is a company called Hobby Lobby that purportedly sells items necessary for all sorts of hobbies. Looking at their online items it appears as if their idea of "all sorts of hobbies" involve lots of silk flowers, glitter, and yarn. These are not things that I buy for any of my hobbies.

I expect that Hobby Lobby does sell Super Glue. Cyanoacrylate (CA) glues are wonderful playthings. There is a company called Hobby Lobby International which sells large containers (and by large I mean one full fluid ounce in volume) of CA glue. This company is not connected with the Hobby Lobby craft stores.

The Hobby Lobby craft stores do not sell important hobby items like microcontroller units or ammonium perchlorate.  I have a sneaking feeling that they may not consider hobbies requiring items like these as being proper hobbies. For some other hobbies they are much more direct about their condemnation.

Hobby Lobby refuses to sell shot glasses. They apparently won’t allow their store locations to be sold to liquor stores or allow “backhauling” of beer shipments.

They also do not think that any money they spend should go to healthcare options that pay for contraceptives.

Hobby Lobby’s owners apparently frown on many of the really good hobbies. They have even gone to court to fight against the possibility that any money they have touched might be spent by anyone on hobbies they disapprove of.

A federal judge has recently ruled that Hobby Lobby's religious liberties have not been violated by requiring Hobby Lobby to provide heath care benefits for its 13,240 employees.

I’ve read several articles on the subject, and none of them have mentioned the outstanding contraceptive-free healthcare benefits that Hobby Lobby is currently offering their employees. The articles tend only to pontificate on religious liberty and the millions of dollars in fines Hobby Lobby will have to start paying in a few weeks.

A more jaded researcher might suspect that they are not currently offering a healthcare package that is much better than what they will be required to provide under Obamacare.  I'm sure they must..I mean in order to really have the moral high ground they must be offering something that is gold-plated awesome. 

I searched the Hobby Lobby webpage to find out more about the amazing contraceptive-free healthcare that their employees will not have once they switch to the new mandated plans. I found extensive information about their missionary activities. I found out that they were closed on Sundays, and did not use barcodes in their stores. I found out that their mission statement included the statement: “ Providing a return on the owners' investment, sharing the Lord's blessings with our employees, and investing in our community.” Perhaps “the Lord’s blessings” is the name of a gold-plated healthcare plan.

The fact that Hobby Lobby is being beaten up by the big bad Obamacare is more important than the healthcare of their employees now, in the past, or anytime in the future.

Those who can afford it get themselves a bodyguard when they are in danger of getting beaten up, and who would make a better bodyguard than Chuck Norris?

Chuck is getting a little long in the tooth these days –he will be 73 next March- and he is not able to take on big bad healthcare by himself. He wants your help to “choke the life out of Obamacare”.

“There’s no middle ground in this fight. Citizens and employers shouldn’t be forced to choose between obeying the law and honoring the Sixth Commandment.” – Chuck Norris

But Chuck says he is not only protecting good Christian Americans like Hobby Lobby, he is also protecting people like you. Apparently, when people think that they can suddenly get healthcare for free, they will swarm healthcare providers and cause costs to skyrocket. He points out that Canadians and Europeans already swarm to America to get our better healthcare because their countries are foolish enough to give it away for free.

According to Aaron E. Carroll, M.D., M.S. of the AARP there are some rich Canadian folks who travel to the US for procedures, “But for the vast, vast majority of people, that’s not happening.” Some people even say there is a problem with Americans flocking to Canada for affordable healthcare.

However, Chuck says that the Canadians are flocking to the US, and are you going to argue with Chuck Norris?

Chuck knew this was going to be a problem. Before the election he and his lovely wife Gena pleaded with America to “preserve for our children this last best hope for man on earth”.  By "last best hope" they meant Mitt Romney.

Gena and Chuck identify this plea as the words of Ronald Reagan, and they quote him further as warning that: “we will sentence them to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness," Ronald said those things in 1964 while promoting the candidacy of Barry Goldwater so we should be a good ways into that 1,000 years of Darkness by now. It is interesting to note that Ronald’s own two terms as POTUS comprise 0.8% of that darkness.

However, Chuck said the “1,000 years of darkness” prophesy really applied to the responsibility to vote for Mitt Romney in 2012, and are you going to argue with Chuck Norris?

I must admit that I had to look up what the sixth commandment was when I read Chuck's essay on choking the life out of Obamacare. I bet some of you had to also.

It is embarrassing because it is such a popular commandment that it can be either: “Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery” or “Thou Shall Not Kill”, depending on who you ask.

It is interesting to link contraception to adultery. I suspect that adultery is not a hobby that Hobby Lobby would condone. Adultery is usually described as having sex with someone who is not your spouse, and does not necessarily have anything to do with contraceptive use. Chuck certainly did not use contraceptives when he and Johanna DeCioli were at a drive-in movie conceiving Dina a few miles away from the apartment Chuck and his then wife Dianne Holechek lived in.

However, Chuck says that contraception violates the sixth commandment, and are you really going to argue with Chuck Norris?

Chuck has a blog over at WorldNetDaily where he is much more active than I am here. Looking over old posts by Chuck one can see that he has personal facts about all sorts of things.

He really needs to find a new Hobby.

I bet he knows some folks who can help with that.


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