My Awesome Oldest Daughter (AOD) came home from her middle school yesterday so distraught she assured me repeatedly that “NOTHING IS WRONG” and that she was “OK”. Apparently one of her BFF had been told by A BOY in her carpool that AOD was “not a member of the LDS church and therefore a satan worshiper” and added that BFF should have nothing more to do with AOD. I should mention that this BFF has been on AOD to “just come and try out” a mormon Sunday service. What sane middle school student wants to sit in a mormon church for three hours on a weekend afternoon. I half believe this is a manipulative conversion plot by the BFF since a Satan worshiper turns to dust on entering a church or something.
Which leads me to say that atheists SUCK. There is not one other atheist at her middle school that she can conspire with. In fact over 95% of the student body of her school is mormon. In 1996 the mormon prophet of god who speaks directly for god to the member of the church declared that "The new battle is one against atheism.". I guess that middle school children are the foot soldiers. Who is there to protect AOD? Should she convert to avoid continued harassment and to gain a measure of social acceptance. Those of you who do not remember middle school might think these things trivial. Those of you who remember realize that middle school children would sell their soul just to eliminate a few pimples.
With all the events and outreach programs and youth ministries and etc…. The world of fantasy and religion opens their arms to the emotional and, more importantly, social needs of middle school aged kids. What do atheists offer? As far as AOD is concerned just loving parents and other useless stuff.
There is a list that I have found great pleasure in. It is called “Hundreds of proofs of gods existence”. Yet it lacks so many that would only make sence to a middle school student:
“Argument from social calendar
1) Evolution supposedly took hundreds of millions of years and god made the earth in seven days.
2)It is seven days to the dance.
3) Therefore god exists.”
“Argument by crush
1) God started with just one man and one woman.
2) [Insert name here] is the only [boy/girl] that exists for me.
3) Therefore god exists”
Or (most depressing)
“Argument from teen angst
1) Mom/Dad do not really really understand me.
2) Someone who says they believe in god says they really really really understand me.
3)Therefore god exists.”